Assessing The Damages…

I think I’ll always hate having birthdays…  They remind me of how much of my life I wasted abusing my body and my brain cells, and acting like a spoiled child.  I can’t help but think about what I could have been if I’d used the brain cells instead of trying to fry them.

Couple the fact that I had one of those horrid birthdays a week and a half ago with the fact that I suffer from clinical depression (along with some other contributing factors), and you get a cocktail that pretty much threw me over its head and right off the wagon of trying to become healthy in my eating and activities.  In fact, I landed in one of the deepest black holes I’ve been stuck in for quite some time.

I didn’t work out; I didn’t eat right.  Too much fried food (probably my biggest downfall); too much garbage; not NEARLY enough sweat.  Now it’s time to assess the damages in preparation to get back on track.

1. I should be nearly at my #30daychip; instead, I’m starting over at Day 1 tomorrow.
2. I should be entering Week 3 of the #5kin100days program; instead, I’ll be starting over on Monday with session 1.1.
3. I’m way behind on my tracking for the August #GoTheDist…  I’ll try to get back on track, and backtrack the things I’ve had to celebrate – even though my mind wasn’t thinking of celebrating at the time, I can probably find something to celebrate after the fact, right?
4. I totally lost my way with tracking my food and activity, and with my blog.  I’ve let myself and my handful of readers down.
5. I completely reversed the progress I had made – I’m back up six pounds, and gained back the inch of girth I’d lost.

Worst of all, I knew that these things were happening, and I let myself dwell on them, which sent me spiraling down ever further…  I’m hoping that, now that I’ve gotten them out of my system and out into cyberspace, I can stop the vicious cycle, and get back to where I need to be.