Saturday, December 31, 2011

Out With The Old…

Tonight, I will see in a New Year for the 50th time.

Having tried and failed at making and achieving New Year’s resolutions since I became aware of what a resolution was, I’ve decided that this time, I will put that tradition behind me, along with all of the trauma and pain that came my way in 2011.

Tonight, I walked a labyrinth, with intent and purpose – as a symbol of letting go of my past and my preconceived notions about myself and others.  I followed the circuits to the center, leaving the limitations of my history behind.  On reaching the center, I sat and looked inward, reaching toward my own center, and eventually found the peace and joy of just being in that moment.  When the time was right, I then followed the path back out to a new realization that I truly have the potential to achieve my goals, as long as I look inside myself for guidance.

I am, for the first time in many years, ready to greet the New Year with hope.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I Love Haiku, Episode 1

Have I found the key?

Or more empty promises?

Only time will tell…

So…  my last post was about my first experience with meditation.  Since then, I’ve gone to another group session, and have now meditated solo twice, yesterday and today.  Tonight’s session was actually pretty good, too; nearly five minutes!  Not bad for a beginner, right?

Anyway, I’m noticing changes in my attitude and emotional state already, and I’m wondering – is it real?  Or is it the placebo effect that hits me every time I try something new?  Sometimes I REALLY hate being a skeptic…

As an example – today I ate less because I wasn’t feeling down on myself, I was significantly less perturbed by drivers doing under the speed limit in the fast lane (it’s going to take some time to beat that one though!), and I complimented three of my coworkers!

I can only hope that I’ve finally found the path I need to follow – and I’m going to do my best to open myself to the magic.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A Different Destination… For Now…

A couple of days ago, I had the good fortune to participate in a group meditation and discussion on a book called Falling Into Grace, by Adyashanti.  The topics that we read and discussed that evening really hit home yesterday, when I received a rather vitriolic note from one of the family members I cut myself off from earlier this year.  Between these two events, I made a profound discovery that brought to light some of the fundamental issues I’m having with getting healthy.

Like many others out there who have difficulty in improving their physical health, I suffer from low self-esteem that has spiraled into a continuous cycle of self-sabotage.  I’ve been told so many times, by people that mattered to me, that I was not and never would be “good enough” – I didn’t deserve to be happy in any way, shape, or form.

This went on for most of my life, right up into this past year, when I finally broke off contact with my family.  Even beyond that, I felt that I had done wrong in taking such a drastic step.

That is, until I walked into a room with a small group of strangers, and felt complete acceptance, entirely without condemnation.  It was then that I started to feel that perhaps I was not the awful person I have come to believe that I am.

This feeling was so strong that it carried over to help me get past my relative’s nasty note without as much drama as it might have a month ago.  I was able to regard it much more rationally, without tears and anger.

I now believe that I need to focus on a journey toward spiritual health before I can truly undertake to develop a healthy lifestyle – I need to learn that I deserve to be my best, regardless of what anyone, including me, might say or think.

To that end, I’m going to take some time away from the hard-and-fast eating and exercise goals to work on my self-image.  If I can start to get away from the negative picture I have of myself, I’m much more likely to be able to bring to life the positive picture of what I want to be.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

#plankaday Puzzle Challenge!

Yesterday, I started #plankaday.  I managed a pathetic 15-second plank yesterday, and a laughable 21.7 seconds today.  My core is as strong as overcooked pasta right now!

Anyway, I’ve decided to throw out a fun puzzle challenge in order to keep me on track, and to have a little fun with it…

Each day, I’ll incorporate a piece of the puzzle into my #plankaday tweet.  Today’s and yesterday’s tweets include puzzle pieces, too, so I’ll add them to the end of this post for those who may have missed them.  The last puzzle piece will be tweeted on December 28th.

As soon as you think you have the correct solution to the puzzle, DM it to me on Twitter (I’m @way2wild there), or email it to  I’ll draw one name from all correct responses received by midnight Pacific on New Years Eve to receive a prize of some sort – not sure what yet though (I’m open to suggestions, as long as they’re not too outrageous!)…  Oh, if anyone knows a good site that I can use to randomly select a winner, that would be awesome, too!

Oh, you can also get bonus entries – if you participate in #plankaday, your correct solution will get you two entries!  Comments on my blog, starting with this post, will also garner extra entries with a correct puzzle solution.

By the way, this is the first time I’ve ever held a contest like this – I might have missed a key point somewhere.  If you have questions or suggestions, please don’t hesitate to let me know!

Now, for those two #plankaday tweets that have already gone out:

December 2nd, 2011 - Today's #plankaday letter is P! For the preposterously pathetic plank performed! A whole 15 seconds...

December 3rd, 2011 - Today's #plankaday letter is L! For the latently laughable plank a little longer than yesterday's! Made 21.7 seconds today...

Thanks for playing!