So, some time back (September, at Fitbloggin’, actually), I began to realize that this journal was not focused where it really needed to be, and I began to talk about making some changes to it. I really think I was sending myself the wrong message – one that was reinforcing my self-loathing by pointing up the differences between the way I look and the way society thinks we should all look.
Well, I’ve finally started the makeover, with an entirely cosmetic facelift. I’m striving now for simplicity and clarity, in the hopes that these characteristics might carry over to my way of thinking about weight loss. The pretty pictures of palm trees won’t help me realize that it’s not about looking good to impress others – it’s about learning to be comfortable in my own skin whether it’s at my current weight or any other. It’s about being aware and mindful of what I put into my body, and why.
Without self-acceptance, I can start over a thousand times, and not realize more than temporary success.
Please, if you’re still with me, be patient. I think I’ve finally crashed and burned, and I’m ready to rise from the ashes.