Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012 Reflections #2–The Good, The Bad, And The Downright Ugly

I think I’ll do this backwards…

The Downright Ugly Sad smile

Probably the biggest thing that was ugly about the past year for me was my work environment for the first part of the year – and the effects that it was having on the other areas of my life.  I was extremely unhappy because I felt that I wasn’t being treated fairly and that I was basically at a dead-end with my employer at the time – no opportunities for advancement, and constantly having to take the fall for and clean up after messes that were not entirely of my making.  While I realize that I was indeed a part of the problem, I couldn’t at that time accept that I appeared to be the only one taking the blame.  I fell deeply into the black pit of depression, stopped caring about my work ethic, my health and well-being, and the things that made me happy.  In fact, it got so bad that I nearly blew my career right to hell.  Fortunately, life circumstances took me out of the situation before permanent damage was done – more on that in a later section of this post.

With regard to my fitness, I’m also ending the year on an ugly note – the number on the scale is higher than it was at the start of the year, and my clothing is now a fair bit more snug that it was 12 months ago.  I’m trying to learn not to place value on these things as much as I do, but it’s difficult to undo 50 years’ worth of indoctrination that one’s worth is inversely proportional to the size of one’s butt and gut.

The Bad Eye rolling smile

I still can’t run for more than a minute at a time.

My eating habits, activity consistency, motivation, and self-acceptance are still mediocre, at best.

I tried hypnosis for weight loss…  Embarrassed smile

I didn’t get any work done on the house.

I didn’t progress with any professional education or certification.

I didn’t have the Hawaii 5-0 I was dreaming of.  Crying face

Now, On The Other Hand…

The Good!  Hot smile

I got an awesome job that I absolutely love!  My career goals have been enhanced and renewed, and I’m looking forward to building my skills and knowledge in the coming year.

I’m registered for several running events in the new year, including a New Year’s Day virtual 5K.

I’m at peace with my decision to remove my mother and sister from my life.

I’m happier than I’ve EVER been.

On rare occasions, I’m blissful in the moment.

I have a New Year’s blessing that I want to share tomorrow…

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